8-16-09

Every 5seconds he asks me about food. I told him already that I didn’t want anything because I already ate half a bag of cheetos. He thinks he knows so much. I’m not hungry because I already ate something. He thinks the printer in my room will work when it won’t. He thinks he could fix the TV by pressing bottoms but he can’t. I want to just be left alone. I want to just be with my bf or my friends that’s it. I want to go away to college and be away from my dad because he thinks he can control me all my life well he can’t. In two years I’m going to have to find an apartment in Down Town Chicago. I need to find myself a roommate soon. I wish my bf could live with me but He wouldn’t be able to nor does his parents want him to be living with me when he turns 18. I wish that everything could just be perfect. Like the fact that I want to gauge my ears and dye my hair and dress this “hardcore” pink punk emo look because I like it. I want to be able to feel free. I want to at least right now not have to be home by 9:00 because I’m 18 not 13, 18. I should be able to at least stay out until 11:00 but if that’s pushing it a bit then at least 10:00. I want to be able to have someone over like my friend Mary without him trying to stay here at home saying he has to babysit us. That just kind of pisses me off because we are old enough to take care of ourselves. AAAHHHHH I want to be able to feel a bit more free. He tells me to grow up but how can I when he won’t let me. I love anime and I know people who are like in their 30s that still love anime. I know what I like and I’m not going to change for anyone. I’m not going to be this fake person just because someone thinks this is how someone should be when they grow up. HA!!!! I’m going to live my life by my rules!!!!